leading the insurrection

We had training today on how to make lesson plans from our new consultant's rep. For those that don't know, if a school is doing bad we have to hire people who tell us how to do our job.

First comment that started the protesting from ms purina cat chow lady. "our research shows that what we do help raise test scores."

Me ( loud enough to be heard) "Every other consultant we hired said the same thing."

I agree with what on of my colleagues said and explained our position, "look every few years we change what we are supposed to do before we get results, we get a new administration who comes in with a new plan and everything resets."

Then the lady after some instructions asks after explain wanky new idea asks in that stupid "i used to teach kindergarden voice" ..."now everybody can do that?"

Me "no," pause

Okay I"m not totally cold and explain, "look sometimes I give three lessons in one day, sometimes it takes me three weeks I'm just trying to teach them one thing. Example it takes me about 2 weeks to teach molestomoles, gramstomoles, moles to grams, atomstomoles, molestoatoms. Its not just a one day lesson."

I realize that as I use the "moles..." words I am completely terrifying this former english teacher. I'm enjoying this. Really. You want to come to tell me how to do my class you better understand what I'm teaching. The music teacher next to me is dying of laughter.

Then the lady later wants us to writing something using text. Me "wait you want us to write this as if we were texting? Like the letter U for "you"?"

"yes, just like you were texting somebody."

(who told her this would be cute?)

Me "never on god's green earth I've never texted in my life." (and the spirits of my english teachers would rise from what ever pit of Hell to shove pitchforks at her)